You're Still Mada Mada Dane
by mysticLegend11
Summary: [onesided RyoSaku] I know that Echizen Ryoma will never acknowledge me, and I accept this. Excerpt from Ryuzaki Sakuno's Diary.


My very first drabble. My very first story without an OC. My very first story... psyche, no. Congratulate me, neh?

You're Still Mada Mada Dane

Dear Diary,

I know that Echizen Ryoma will never acknowledge me, and I accept this. To him, I'll be nothing more than the granddaughter of his coach or a classmate in his grade. I'll be on the sidelines cheering all my life, detached yet connected to him in a distant way. Still, even pillars of support need pillars of support, and I'll always be by his side no matter what. He'll never stop trying and I won't either. In this lies some guaranteed satisfaction.

In the future, I'll probably graduate and marry another man. Probably someone without the same massive ego, someone who doesn't devour Ponta faster than a famished army and doesn't say 'mada mada dane' quite the same way. Still, I'll have the pleasure of looking back and telling my children and grandchildren that I knew Echizen Ryoma, a player of legends.

Even though I know he'll never see me the way I see him, it is enough.

---

"Sakuno! Are you ready yet?" Ryuzaki Sumire called from her bedroom, wondering why in the world her granddaughter was taking so long.

"Coming!" Sighing exasperatedly, Sumire grabbed her books and threw them into her backpack along with her lunch.

"Arigatou, obaa-san," she said, desperately trying to fix her lopsided hair. Sumire noticed that she had arranged her hair differently today and her wrists tinkled with bracelets. She nervously hopped out the door, dropping her pencil case in the process. She was spazzing in nervousness today and her grandmother noticed. The old coach could only guess what Sakuno was planning to do...

---

'I like you. How hard could it be? Just say I like you. Come on, Sakuno-chan, just say it quick and get it over with.' She took a deep breath and Tomoka couldn't stop encouraging her, although she barely heard a word of her. Her heart was pumping in her ears and suddenly she couldn't move.

"Sa-ku-no! Class is about to start in a minute! Hurry up and do this!" Tomoka yelled, her patience finally betraying her.

Echizen's hazel eyes finally noticed that she was standing there gawking at him and a heat quickly rose in her face. "Ryuzaki, what are you doing here?" They weren't in the same class, after all.

'I should never have listened to Tomo-chan to get me to do this...' Before she could think of anything else, Tomoka pushed her and she crashed into Echizen's desk with an embarrassing _thud_.

"Itai," she rubbed her head.

"Daijoubu?" Ryoma asked, seemingly unconcerned.

"I-I'm all right," she quickly collected herself. 'I like you. I like you. I like you. Oh, I can't say it!'

"Sakuno..." A vein was bulging on Tomoka's head. Soon the embarrassing silence and stare down between the two of them attracted the eyes of everyone else in the classroom and she tensed up even more.

"Meet with me after school, onegai!" she finally blurted, bowing low. "Arigatou!" Blushing like a madman, she sprinted out of the room and ran closed-eyed all the way to her desk where she sat breathing asthmatically.

"Matte..." Ryoma said, but for all he knew she may have already been halfway to space. He picked up a book that had dropped out of her backpack. The first page was already open.

_Dear Diary, _

_I know that Echizen Ryoma will never acknowledge me, and I accept this._

Blinking, Echizen turned to the cover of the book where this was scrawled: Ryuzaki Sakuno's Diary.

"Che..." he looked away, deciding that he'll return it after-school. However, he couldn't seem to shut the book. She was writing about _him_, after all. It didn't mean he wasn't curious...

---

Sakuno stood waiting at the tennis courts. Practice was over and the scattered members were leaving, Suddenly panic erupted in Sakuno. What if Echizen decided to ignore her or stand her up? What would she do then? She dug her nails in further into her skin, expecting the worst but praying for the best.

"You asked to see me?" Sakuno was delighted to hear Ryoma's voice behind her.

"Oh." Sakuno could have sworn that there was a tinge of pink on his cheeks. Maybe it was the heat, the exercise or... maybe a trick of the light. To her surprise, he refused to meet her perplexed eyes.

"You dropped this in class this morning." He handed her a leather-bound book and she flushed to realize that it was her diary. 'Obaa-san must have put it in my backpack by accident this morning...'

"Ar-arigatou," she mustered a smile. 'Now tell him. Ask him to go out to lunch tomorrow. Say something!'

"You're still mada mada dane." He waved with the back of his hand as a vociferous Momoshiro joined him. Her tongue could form no words all of a sudden, struck immobile as if the wind was knocked out of her.

"Come on, let's go out for burgers today. What do you say, Echizen?" Momo threw an arm around his neck.

'What happened?' She turned to the first page of her diary and suddenly her heart stopped. 'Did Ryoma-kun read this?'

On the bottom of the page, in her tiny handwriting, were the scribbled words: _Aishiteru, Ryoma-kun._

'Did I really write that?' Suddenly she felt very, very faint. Then she remembered his words.

_You're still mada mada dane. _

Ouch.

"Sakuno? Sakuno! Oi, snap out of it!" Tomo-chan ran to her and shook her vigorously, but Sakuno barely heard her.

Before Sakuno realized it, tears were pouring from her cheeks. It felt surprisingly good to let go of the secret she'd held for so long, like as if a burden had been lifted from her heart, only to be replaced by a heavier one. Rejection slammed into her like a tsunami, tearing a void in her heart.

She had never felt so incomplete in her life... or so complete.

_He'll never stop trying and I won't either._

**Owari**

_Aishiteru- I love you_

Okay, so this originally a rebuttal against RyoSaku fics because I was pissed off last night for no apparent reason. I was even more pissed off at myself because I was being hypocritical for being pissed off... I know it doesn't make sense. It was supposed to end only as a diary entry and that's it. However, since my mind refused to accept drabbles, I had to extend it. Part of me wishes I didn't; most of me is glad I did. I mean, basically what I'm trying to say is: be _realistic_, people. Okay, I confess that I took the last bit from Lieyan's That Dream. Read it! It's Silver Pair-centric. Itai! Itai! Why are you trying to kill me? I'm advertising your fic here!

Review, neh?


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